Bringing you up to speed.... and I don't mean my running

So since the last time I wrote on here it was the end of last year, so to say I have been a bit remiss is an understatement. Since last posting I have finally completed the Ironman in Austria after what some might describe as a tumultuous build, I however refer to it lovingly as a shit show LOL... I will update you with the in-depth race report in my next instalment though you may have had your fill of it if you already follow me on social media, sorry I am not sorry.... It was a long ass race and deserves at least a little bit of milking...

But for now a cliff notes version of where my life is at currently is what I needed to do. I have been wanting to sit and write for ages but just could never carve out the time and when I did have the time I just wasn't feeling it. Now with a much appreciated rest and break in training for awhile I have set myself some winter goals, one of which is to be a regular poster through my blog and to get cracking on some others things I have cooking in the background which I will be excited to share with you in due course.

The year has been, as I am sure you are aware unless you have somehow been in a coma, continued to be challenging as we still find ourselves challenged by Covid-19 and the implications that the continuing pandemic has had on us. If like me you live in the UK you will have been locked down in some way or another till the middle of this year, its all starting to feel a bit normal now, but still in the back of my mind the anxiety is still there of getting sick and what that could potentially mean long term should you be unlucky enough to be impacted in such a way.

I have recently been back to Canada as I had found out my uncle is terminally ill with lung cancer and so it was my last opportunity to go and say goodbye. For practicality reasons I went alone with my youngest 2 children, having just seen Julien my oldest off to University 3 days previous and a mere 8 days after completing Ironman Austria. To say I have had an exhausting 3 weeks would be one of the biggest understatements to date. Returning home to Canada is always a bittersweet affair for me, and as the years go on it gets harder and harder to say goodbye, as people get older and the uncertainty of seeing them again grows the wrench is greater.

I made my way to the UK May 2003 when Julien was only 5 months old, we came to join his father here who had moved here in July the previous summer. I have made a beautiful life with a beautiful family here surrounded by the best friends. I often get asked if I would move back home... It is such a loaded question. The thing is the grass is rarely greener on the other side, we often think that somewhere else will be better, the houses are bigger there is more space so why wouldn't it be better. My family is there, and having had my children spend time with their family and seeing what they had missed out on through their young lives with their Uncles, Cousins, grandparents and even great grandparents it was enough to make me stop and think maybe I was being selfish by staying in the UK but for all the reasons I stated above but I just struggle to have the desire to move. therein lies the issue I wish I could have my cake and eat it, and I can't. My life and the people who make it so great are here, but my family is there and I love and miss them too... And so the pain of having my heart in two places will always be there. What I can say is that I am so grateful that unlike when I first came to England I have had the opportunity to return home twice in the last 4 years as before that I had not been back home for 11 years even if the reason I went back this time was for a sad reason it was still a wonderful time and I will cherish the memories we made together and I know my children will as well. They did not want to return, and said how much they love Canada, it was quite the wrench for them to come back especially poor George who has struggled the most with now having his little heart in two places as well.

*Watch this space for another race report, as I ran the Virtual Boston Marathon while in Calgary, Canada... and let me tell you it was not uneventful in the slightest and will make for a enjoyable anecdote... for you anyways, for me it may just trigger my PTSD further... but who knows.. *

I digress, To continue on the update front, Since I had only dropped Julien off 3 days prior to going to Canada the fact that he had moved had not really had the opportunity to sink in, so when I returned and went to Sainsbury's to do a bit of shopping on a Tuesday night when he was typically on shift and he wasn't there, it was like a sudden gut punch where not only had I just said goodbye to my family back home, and was still rather delicate as a result not to mention the head f*ck that is jet-lag, but I had returned to the reality that my first born had really moved out and really was on his own, without me to make sure he is taking care of himself and completely out of control and that once again took the wind out of me a little.

I have had a good catch up with him today however, having been in a different time zone I have not had the opportunity to do so properly till now which has helped. He is loving Uni life and enjoying his classes which is brilliant, and all any mother could hope for. More so though, that he is now more than ever appreciative of the fact that I made him do things for himself at home like cooking, cleaning and budgeting which meant he was equipped and ready to live independently which he reports is not the case for some of his flat mates, so much so that he proudly reported back to me on the first day there he had to show someone how to do the washing up by hand. Proud of him for being able to step up and help his fellow man in a time of need, I am also a little scared for today's youth If my lazy ass teenager is the one teaching your kid how to wash up.. Don't get me wrong I love Julien, but getting him to do anything here was an absolute chore, but I am glad to know it actually did sink in after all..and he is putting it to good use.

So now here we find ourselves nearly midway through October, all but one of my events has been and gone with just the Red-Bull Time Laps to take place on the 30th of October.. Where I will spend a good portion of 24 hours on my bike with 3 other slightly unstable individuals riding around Goodwood race track... Why you ask, I don't know why, why do I do any of the things I sign up for? It sounded like a good idea at the time... I know it will be a blast, and sleep at this point is for the weak :P After that I prepare for the month of November which is the start of the Polar bear challenge, which could be my most challenging undertaking to date. I have opted for one of the more realistic targets of twice monthly swimming 250m in the open water without a wetsuit from the months of Nov-March. As a prolific sufferer of Raynauds, this for me will absolutely be a mind over matter scenario but I am excited to give it a go, and I have read so many positives about cold water swimming that I had to just give it a crack.. What could go wrong she asks?... Don't answer that, I know what could go wrong but in my typical Chelsea Fashion I am not thinking about it and just jumping in *probably not literally, I will probably sink in slowly whilst squealing like a little piglet but you get the gist of where I am going*

So with that, I will sign off this entirely rambling post. I had thought about just doing one big my year in hindsight brain dump on you here, but I thought I would titillate you instead with the teasers of my race reports so that you might come back for more rather than climax too soon blurt it all out and you then you all leave as all the good stuff had gone... So with that in mind see you soon with some musings on Ironman Austria and my Boston Virtual Marathon and where I might be going from there...