Happy Covid New Year....

So my last post was one of reflection just before we rang in 2022... Not 12 hours after that post I was preparing for the first run race of the season..The Knacker Cracker at Boxhill, I was so excited as I have always wanted to do this. As we had a covid case in our household I was expected to test for 7 days and BANG.... Postive lateral flow, On New Years day, what a way to start a new year...

I didn't feel ill, and actually on Dec 31st, I had had more energy than I had had for months, I cleaned, I cooked, I blogged and I planned with hope for the New Year.. So what happened??

25 days after my positive lateral flow test, I have had 3 ECG's, an X-Ray, many vials of blood taken, steroid tablets, steroid inhalers and a lot of stress and worry!!

A day after my positive test result, I felt tired and headachy but nothing too horrendous. I did what everyone does, I chilled, I slept and I binged Netflix. One weird thing was that I was absolutely starving hungry and ate everything in site.. I know now my body was being clever and it was preparing to fight this virus! I lost my taste and smell on day 4, which was the absolute weirdest experience, because when you have a typical cold you you are generally congested and you don't taste or smell well because of the congestion so not being congested it was a very odd experience.

I have been asthmatic for pretty much as long as I can remember, but it has never really been an issue for me unless I run hard or I get upset or stressed. These things will bring on an attack of sorts, but one where It's not that I can't breathe, but I am phlegmy, I cough and you can hear my airways are restricted but not anything too significant. I was not classified as a priority for vaccination for my asthma or my EDS and have only been triple jabbed due to my job. As I am frontline member of staff working with the public and vulnerable clients and thank goodness for that, as there is no doubt that I would have been hospitalised had I not. My breathing throughout the week began to get very difficult and got to the point where I just couldn't inflate my lungs enough, I could only describe it as when you go under water and hold your breath and you get that burning in your lungs and so you know to come up to the surface for air, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get enough air I felt like I was suffocating and it was awful.

I contacted 111 and over the phone they prescribed me a heavy dosage of steroid tablets to try and get my breathing under control, I took these for 5 days and though they did help it wasn't enough. My GP then prescribed a steroid inhaler to take and asked me to get a chest X ray but only when I got a negative Lateral flow test which I didn't get until Day 13. However 2 weeks after my initial positive test I found myself in the OOH surgery on a Sunday night because I had tried to walk Alfie and after 20 minute my lungs were on fire and I just couldn't catch my breath, there was also a dull ache in my chest that wouldn't go away. They listened to my chest and it was clear and asked why I hadn't had the chest X ray the doctor had ordered I explained that I had only just got my negative test so wasn't able to. So on the Monday I went and had the Xray and waited for the outcome, on the Wednesday I called and they explained that there was nothing on the Xray.. I was relieved but still didn't give me any answers.

I had gone back to work after having been off for a week, but I was struggling to regulate my breathing, talking was hard and I was getting pain in my chest if I moved around too much but I just tried to get back to normal as best I could.. However last Thursday night the pain in my chest was getting worse, and I had developed the worst headache. Throughout this period my Resting heart rate was routinely 25 beats per minute higher than usual, the benefits of being an athlete who uses heart rate for training is I know my baseline. I once again called 111 and explained my symptoms, as I was reporting chest pain, they advised me to make my way to Accident and Emergency to get checked out. When I arrived at A&E my Blood pressure was 168/92, typically my blood pressure is 111/60 as a result of POT's due to my EDS, this is often too low and I get dizzy and lose my vision at times when I stand up until it regulates itself so I was alarmed to see it so high but it explained the headache. I was given painkillers, and they did ECG's and blood tests to rule out a possible blood clot and investigate any possible cardiac events. The tests all came back clear, and I was told that it was likely just generalised inflammation from having Covid, and that there was still a lot they don't know about the impacts of this virus.

I got home about 2:30am, and at 6:30am I woke up with the most horrific chest pain. The pain gripped me, and ripped through me. The only way I can explain it is if you have ever watched a vampire movie or show and you see them reach into someone's chest and squeeze their heart, that is how this felt . I was hot, and clammy, my pulse was racing and felt like I was physically going to be sick..I thought I was having a heart attack. How was I having a heart attack when they just told me I was ok? I called an ambulance and they came within minutes.. The pain came in waves and in total I had 5 attacks of these episodes. They did another ECG and I went through with them what tests had been done in hospital not 4 hours earlier. He looked at my ECG and said it looked fine and instructed me to call my GP when they opened at 8:30 as he was only able to recognise and react to emergencies and he was satisfied that this wasn't my heart.

My GP called and I explained to them what had happened and they asked to see me in the afternoon. I spoke to my coach Judith after this had happened and described to her what had happened and what the episode was like, and she said to me I wonder if its Costochondritis!?!?! She explained to me that a few weeks before she had experienced a similar episode and she was sure she was having a heart attack having just recovered from a Nasty chest infection herself. Me being me I began googling, and reading. It sounded exactly what I had been experiencing.

When I went to see the GP I spoke with her and asked whether she thought it could be Costochondritis, she examined me and said she believed it could be. I was prescribed strong painkillers and told to rest, I was signed off work and away I went.

Now if you're wondering, Costochondritis is inflammation in the chest wall where the ribs join the sternum, and for me it was caused by the repeated strain caused by struggling to breathe. Relieved it wasn't my heart and having a clear diagnosis to work from I felt like a massive weight had been lifted.

However outside of the obvious physical restrictions covid has put me under, mentally it has also been very challenging. I have felt very isolated, and people who I thought I was closer to have been seemingly vanished from my life since I have been unable to train and generally do the things that make me, me!

In addition to the flippant comments that some people make in regards to covid being just like having a cold, or we all need to get it and be immune and move on.. and though I am sure no harm is ever meant by these comments they cut deep and I have been feeling annoyed, angry, frustrated and just generally saddened by peoples attitudes having been struggling with it so much.

Relationships can be funny, I am one of those people who is always all in... I will give my all and will be there for people no matter what. Brian sometimes gets annoyed because I make myself so available to others, that it can be disruptive to our life at times, but it is just who I am. So lately for me having been in a place of vulnerability and really needing those people to be there and hold me up I have felt really disappointed that I don't seem to be as important to some as they have been to me and it has been really enlightening to find who is really going to be there for you when the chips are down.

Now I know how this might sound to some, and it is not meant as a dig. I keep this blog as journal of my life and so it has to be an honest account, not meant as an attack or a pity party but a true reflection of me, my journey and my feelings however that looks. This is how I feel right now, right or wrong..

Thankfully I am recovering albeit slowly, but I have had to be honest with myself as to what my goals were and now need to be this year. Thankfully I had already decided to not sign up for any long distance events, which turns out was a good shout as I am fairly certain that though I am hopeful I will back up and running at some point soon, it would have been a tall order for me by June to be Iron distance fit..

So instead through my time of being sick and out of training action I have focussed on completing my Ironman University coaching qualification and today passed my first assessment!! I am absolutely buzzing for this next chapter and at this present time I can honestly say that helping people reach their goals in sport, be it swim, bike or run (or even all 3 LOL) for me is just as fulfilling as competing myself!

So though 2022 has started on somewhat of a different path than I foresaw, great things are still on the way!!